Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert addresses reporters along with Congressman John Shimkus of Illinois

Washington, DC (APE) - Authorities are describing house Speaker Dennis Hastert's survival of a bus accident just outside the Capitol building early this morning, as miraculous. They stated that the speaker had only lost his glasses as a result of the encounter. Medical personnel also stated that recent experimental radiology treatments designed to address a skin infection probably contributed to saving the congressman's life.

Today I read that two Republican Congressmen are competing to replace Tom DeLay as the leader of the House Republicans. One would expect that the Republicans would be eyeing the most squeaky clean of their members to counter the corrupt image their party now has. And yet, one of the top contenders is Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri, one of the most corrupt members of Congress. The other is at best only soft on corruption and at worst, based on the REPUBLICAN view of the Abramoff scandal (not our own), the other, Rep. John Boehner of Ohio, is among the most corrupt Congressmen around. In their blind quest for power, Republicans just don't get it. Americans don't like corruption.