My favorite newspaper is The Onion because their satire typically nails truth's core in a manner the "respectable" media simply can't. My favorite article from them was a couple years ago about a husband and wife in Montana that divorced because they felt "threatened" by gay marriage. In their inimitable manner, The Onion illustrated just how asinine the debate over gay marriage truly is. The notion that one can feel "threatened" by gay marriage or equal protection under the law for an entire community is utterly moronic.

Bush To Increase Funding For Hope-Based Initiatives

WASHINGTON--President Bush announced today that he will sign a bill providing an additional $2.8 billion for private organizations that emphasize the importance of hoping for change.

"This bill acknowledges the immeasurable role of hope in envisioning a better world for everyone," Bush said during a press conference. "Starting today, I ask all Americans to hope together as one nation that the difficult problems that grip our nation will go away someday."
...
Under the bill, wish-based initiatives will also be eligible for increased funding. Dozens of independent wishful-thinking foundations, such as America Wishes Things Were Better, expect to receive grants to fund distribution of pennies, wishbones, and birthday candles.

Those with wishes and hopes applauded the president's move, saying that faith alone cannot rectify the nation's social ills.

Hilarious.