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Hope Revisited Email Print

"May I have your name, please?" asked the formally dressed female intern seated at the welcome desk. I gave it to her and she checked and double-checked the evening's roster. After fumbling with her sheets of paper, she looked up and blushed. "I'm sorry, but you don't appear to be on the list," she almost whispered.

"I called last week and reserved a ticket with my credit card," I said looking up, trying to keep my frustration at bay.

"Hang on," she said rising from her chair. "Let me talk with Tom and see what we can do." With that, she disappeared around the corner.

About a week ago, I received an email inviting me to Common Cause's I Love an Ethical NY Awards Reception at the Museum of Natural History in Manhattan. Among the scheduled honorees were President Clinton, Charlie Rose and Seymour Hersh. Not a bad line-up and the price was right, so I gave them a call and grabbed a reservation.

I was late arriving, because the city had decided that 5:00 PM was a great time to tear up Eighth Avenue at 42nd street. I had been screaming out of frustration in the car while taking "fifteen minutes to go three blocks," to recall a James Taylor lyric, and I was a bit frazzled when I finally arrived at the welcome desk. The news that I wasn't on "the list" just about put me over the top.

You see I wasn't totally comfortable with the evening's prospects, to begin with. Having never attended one of these events, I really didn't know what to expect. I was also going alone. I had spent the day preparing to be ready for the awkward situation of introducing myself to strangers at a large cocktail reception full of well-to-do New York City liberal activists. My task for the night was to face my trepidation. My plan was to make people talk about themselves and perhaps get a glimpse of the former president.

The intern reappeared from around the corner with a young man who sported a full shock of curly hair.  He carried a clipboard and wore a blue suit adorned with a nametag.

"Hello, I'm Tom and I'm terribly sorry about this," he said taking my elbow and leading me toward the escalator. "The cocktail hour is almost over. I'll go upstairs with you and walk you past the ticket takers into the banquet room. Stand in the back and wait until everyone is seated, then grab an empty chair at a table. There will be some no-shows."

I was disappointed to have missed the reception, but was not unhappy to have missed the self-introductions.

Tom and I rode the escalator up to the mezzanine that overlooked the lobby. I saw the bar to my right past the jazz trio, and the stylish crowd of attendees, with drinks in hand, was slowly moving down the hall to my left toward the entrance of the banquet room.  We stepped off the escalator and stood to the right to wait for the throng to pass.

At exactly the same instant that Tom leaned toward me to whisper, "Of course, you know who that is," I saw President Clinton. He was standing about six feet away and was surrounded by about seven or eight well-wishers.

The first thing I thought was, "They're right." I had been told by those who have been in the same room with the former president that he has an amazing charisma. In this case, he seemed to be standing in a pool of light, so much so that I glanced up to see where his handlers might have hung the pin spot.

Forgetting all self-doubt, I immediately turned to Tom and said, "Excuse me. I don't get this opportunity very often."

"Go for it," he said. "I'll wait for you down the hall."

As I stepped forward, I was reminded of the passage from Primary Colors describing "the handshake."  

We shook hands. My inability to recall that particular moment more precisely is disappointing: the handshake is the threshold act, the beginning of politics. I've seen him do it two million times now, but I couldn't tell you how he does it, the right-handed part of it--the strength, quality, duration of it, the rudiments of pressing the flesh. I can, however, tell you a whole lot about what he does with his other hand. He is a genius with it. He might put it on your elbow, or up by your biceps: these are basic, reflexive moves. He is interested in you. He is honored to meet you. If he gets any higher up your shoulder--if he, say, drapes his left arm over your back, it is somehow less intimate, more casual. He'll share a laugh or a secret then--a light secret, not a real one--flattering you with the illusion of conspiracy. If he doesn't know you all that well and you've just told him something "important," something earnest or emotional, he will lock in and honor you with a two-hander, his left hand overwhelming your wrist and forearm. He'll flash that famous misty look of his. And he will mean it.

And that's exactly what he was doing; traveling seamlessly, effortlessly from person to person, each one seemed to feel that he listened and cared and would remember.  Only now, there appeared to be a calm about him, not the frenzy fueled by the passion of elective politics. Something more human, more relaxed, more knowing?

"Okay, everyone! Please make your way into the room. We are about to begin," came a male voice from down the hall. The former president was talking with the last person in the circle, and I knew I would be next.

The right hand came my way as he was patting the shoulder of the woman next to me with his left. I reached out and took his extended hand and he moved with ease to meet my eyes. I was ready.

"Good evening, Mr. President." I introduced myself and continued, "I live in upstate New York, and I am, among other things, a freelance writer for political blogs." His eyes lit up.

"You know, blogs are the new town hall," he said. "That's where political discussions are really being held to form policy these days. Very exciting." He still loves policy, I thought.

"I worked for both of your campaigns and supported your wife for the Senate four years ago." I said, feeling oddly calm.

He then put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Walk with me."

Thrilled, I turned and walked down the hall with the former leader of the free world. During our walk, we talked about blogging and its impact on politics, my hometown, his back yard and a particular dream I had long ago.

As we entered the room where he was to be honored, I stopped and said, "Mr. President, about ten years ago, I had a dream, not a waking dream, but a real sleeping dream that was so clear, I still remember the details. That dream was that one day I would meet you and shake your hand and have the honor of spending a few minutes with you. That small dream is being realized right now, and it's a thrill for me." I hesitated, and then said, "I don't suppose you had a dream that you would meet me as well?"

He threw back his head and laughed. "Actually, if I did, it's gone from my mind. I want to thank you for the support you gave to me and to my wife. She's a great Senator."

"I agree, and congratulations on your honor tonight," I said.

"Thank you," he said as he was led away to his table.

During my drive home that night, I found myself smiling like a fool. The ceremony itself was fulfilling.  Mr. Clinton's short speech was gracious as were those of Charlie Rose, Robert Rubin, David Dinkins, Calvin Trillin and the leaders of Common Cause, but the reason for my smile was more cathartic. I remembered the joy of that November in 1992 when Clinton had won the presidency. And I took stock of the depressing winter darkness that has been the hallmark of the past five years...and for one night, I felt the warm trade winds in my face. I was smiling again, because I caught the faint memory of what it was like to have Hope revisit America.


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In January 1993, I was working for a small non-profit and living with some college and high school friends in DC.  One of the friends worked as an intern on Capitol Hill (whatever the lowest rung is, an aide to an aide to an aide), and managed to get a couple of inauguration tickets.  We were about as far away in the crowd as you could get; couldn't see a damn thing.  It was cold, unless my memory is making that part up; but we screamed ourselves hoarse; a 12 year wait was over.  I was not quite 23 and had just graduated from college 7 months before.  That night we managed to sneak into one or two of the inaugural balls, and it really did seem like -- an inauguration.

Fast-forward 8 years, and I am getting my graduate degree at a small department ceremony.  Out of pure coincidence I am finally finishing at the same time that Chelsea is receiving her B.A.  It took forever to get into the outdoor patio/garden like area because of secret service checks.  After the ceremony, Bill and Hilary are led out first, directly through where we are standing.  I manage to grab his hand and say, "We miss you already Mr. President" (it is June 2001).  He, with that untrainable charisma that you so aptly described, says, "Congratulations," in a way that implies that he is deeply impressed at my personal accomplishment in finishing graduate school.

I think it is the knowledge of how powerful charisma is in politics, and the rare glimpse that Clinton gave us of what a truly charismatic politician can do, that makes Democrats thirst so much for someone who can through force of her or his person lead us out of Egypt once again.  (Thus the almost desperate embrace of Barack Obama last summer) (and by desperate I don't mean to imply that it wasn't justified, just that it was the embrace of people once again too long in the wilderness).  We have had too many people represent us who have been unable to recapture this personal brilliance, however unfair it may be that charisma can be so vital to political success.

On the other hand, oddly enough when I think of a return to hope, now I think of a man whose lack of the same kind of charisma was so ballyhooed -- I mean of course Al Gore, about whom MSOC had a diary up this morning.  For one thing, the election of Gore would represent an attempt to reverse (not erase, of course, but at least reverse) the horrible misdeeds of the current administration, and it would provide a sense of poetic justice in helping to begin to heal what happened in 2000.  For another, "stiff" though he may be, Gore seems to have found his voice in a dramatic way in the years since his devastating loss, and his renewal, in this sense, could mirror our (the country's) own.

But now I'm officially rambling, I'm afraid.  It seems that your moving and well-written diary has inspired me to inflict a series of partially connected half digested musings on you in response ...

-- Stu

by sdf on 11/07/2005 04:36:52 PM EST

In terms of hope...well, I'll take Gore getting to work over anything we've had in the past five years...and that would be hopeful to me...not charismatic...but hopeful.

The Albany Project. The best damned blog about New York State politics.

by NYBri on 11/07/2005 04:40:26 PM EST

[ Parent ]
You had a chance to meet one of the greatest politicians of all time, you realize. And now you see why.

I remember Mary Matalin (of all people) saying he was the most charismatic politician of the 20th century.

by SusanG on 11/07/2005 05:19:37 PM EST

...to see where the light was coming from...

Amazing.

The Albany Project. The best damned blog about New York State politics.

by NYBri on 11/07/2005 05:27:37 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Are a lucky SOB.  Way to make us Midwesterners jealous!

by ColdFusion04 on 11/07/2005 08:19:55 PM EST

[ Parent ]
...one of the treats about living near NYC...access to such events.

The Albany Project. The best damned blog about New York State politics.

by NYBri on 11/07/2005 09:10:05 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I remember the day of Clinton's January 1993 inauguration.  It was your typical cold, rainy Oregon day and I was running errands. For what ever reason, I was listening to the inauguration, not music, in the car.  When Maya Angelou began the beautiful poem she recited at the event, the sun broke through the clouds and a spectacular rainbow appeared.  It was so appropriate - it was truly a feeling of hope - after so many years of darkness.  As a country, we need that again so desperately.

by dansk47 on 11/07/2005 05:39:52 PM EST

...said a variation of the, "Please come back," theme.

Hope is a strong motivator. It's what keep one foot following the next in th journey. Remove that, and eveyone will will stop and give up.

It seems we have done just that.

The Albany Project. The best damned blog about New York State politics.

by NYBri on 11/07/2005 05:43:16 PM EST

[ Parent ]
No, we have not given up, we've just be pummeled by the MSM and the right wingers and the complete denial of what is real.  But the proliferation of the blogosphere and the huge sense of community - especially in the liberal leaning blogs show we have not given up.  

The fact is  now, people from all over the country - or the world- will rally around a Paul Hackett, or actively help on the campaign of a candidate who, in previous times, they  would never have heard of, is encouraging.  I agree with Tom Ball on the open thread who said the repugs are trying to drive their opposition insane with rage - and although it seems at times to be working - we just can not let it happen.

by dansk47 on 11/07/2005 06:02:34 PM EST

[ Parent ]
 ... and very well written.

by UNCmark on 11/07/2005 07:58:25 PM EST

and so appropriate that you get to tell it in "the new town hall";-)

by Frederick Clarkson on 11/08/2005 01:07:51 AM EST

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