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By cscs
12/15/2005 10:08:34 PM EST

Like Jon Stewart said, funny stuff:

rumsfeld
september 25 2002

We know they have weapons of mass destruction. We know they have active programs. There isn't any debate about it.
cheney
march 16 2003
My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.
bush
june 17 2004
The reason I keep insisting that there was a relationship between Iraq and Saddam and al Qaeda, because there was a relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda.

Democrats that worry about Howard Dean saying "we can't win" should remember the kind of shit that was thrown down our throats for years.

Put Dean's quote next to any of those, and tell me which sounds more ridiculous.


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Comedy | 1 comment (1 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
And then there is this: (none / 0)
Jay Leno:   "Today they held the elections in Iraq. The results are slowly coming in. The only thing we know for sure at this point: Al Gore lost again."

Jay Leno:   "President Bush said we might not know the results of the Iraqi election till January. We might have to wait a month. Hey, that's still quick by Florida standards."

Jay Leno:   "They have a ban on cars in Iraq on voting day, so the people have to walk to the polls. Eighty percent showed up to vote. If we had to walk to the polls, we'd have like three people voting."

Jay Leno:   "The Iraqis had to choose from 7,655 candidates. Imagine those people in Palm Beach with a ballot with 8,000 names. Their heads would explode."

Jay Leno:   "President Bush was a little cocky about the voter turnout. All day long, he went around giving his critics the purple finger."

Jay Leno:   "In his speech, President Bush said, 'I am responsible for the decision to go into Iraq.' I don't think you got to worry about a lot of people trying to take credit for that one. ... Like the captain of Titanic going, 'You know, it was my idea to hit the iceberg.'"

Jay Leno:   "Actually, you have to give President Bush credit. He said the responsibility for invading Iraq was completely his fault, and he takes full responsibility for it. To which the Democrats said, 'How sneaky is that? See, Bush is now trying to play the truth card.'"

David Letterman:   "The general election is taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we are one step closer to being there for another 10 years."

David Letterman:   "There have been reports of 1,000 fake ballots in the Iraqi elections. Sounds like another victory for the Republicans."

David Letterman:   President Bush "said most of the intelligence reports he got about Iraq were wrong. Well, thankfully, no harm done."

Conan O'Brien:   "It will take up to two weeks to figure out who won today's Iraqi elections. So far it looks like the winner will be the dark-haired guy with the mustache."

Political Cortex -- Brain Food for the Body Politic

by Tom Ball on 12/16/2005 08:43:14 AM EST

Comedy | 1 comment (1 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)
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