Political Cortex: Brain Food for the Body Politic

Obscenity - Not covered by the 1st Amendment. Must meet the following criteria:

• The average person would find that the material incites lust
  
• The material depicts or describes sexual activities
  
• The material lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value

• Explicit description or portrayal
  
• Extended coverage or repetition of the portrayal
  
• Material used only to pander or shock
  
• Indecent material can be employed during the so-called "safe harbor" period between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.

NOTE: As of this writing, violent material is NOT included under any of the above definitions; ergo, material cannot be declared obscene or indecent for reasons of violent content alone.

COMPLAINT STATISTICS (Raw data here)

# of complaints for 2005: 189,362 covering 720 separate programs. This was twice as many programs as last year, though there were far fewer complaints overall.

Media: The majority of complaints were directed towards radio broadcasts and network television equally. This is roughly consistent with recent years.

# of charges: None, though three months are unaccounted for in the statistics.

That wasn't so painful, was it? Now that we're all informed, it's time for a dirty joke. It contains violence, excreta, substance abuse and sexual content. If you are easily offended, please don't read it. You have been warned.

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A talent agent is sitting in his office at the end of the day. Two men, one young and vacant-looking and the other older with a scowl, enter the office and demand a viewing. The agent is tired, but he sees that the two are persistent, so he agrees to hear from them. "What do you do, exactly?" asks the agent. "Perhaps we should show you" replied the older men.

The older man produces a bottle of tequila and tosses it to the younger man, who uncorks it and begins drinking. Meanwhile, the older man reaches through the door and pulls out a naked, bound and hooded man. The older man flings the bound man to the ground and sodomizes him with a miniature model of the Statue of Liberty while cutting him with a switchblade. The younger man, now extremely drunk, drops his pants and begins pissing on the bound man. The older man, cackling evilly, drops his own pants, squats in the middle of the room, and takes a huge shit, wiping his ass with a replica of the Constitution. By now, the young man has emptied his bladder. Still heavily intoxicated, he grabs the soiled Statue of Liberty model and shoves it up his own ass. He then grabs his penis and masturbates with vigor and gusto. From out of nowhere, a group of almost two dozen men and women flood into the room, watching the young man's self-pleasing actions. He comes, and the crowd erupts in applause. From the back of the room, one of the women produces a small kitten and a claw hammer. The young man takes the objects and, kicking aside the still moaning captive, walks to the agent's desk where he proceeds to beat the kitten to death with the hammer. The crowd roars again while the older man takes the remains of the kitten and messily devours them.

The agent is shocked. "Th . . . that's certainly different." he says. "What, uh, what do you call it?"

"The Aristocrats!"