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To the Godless Liberals - A Message From The President Email Print

By Aethern
02/02/2006 08:26:05 PM EST

Here in the Fifth Year Of Our Bush (YOOBTM), the President in Command is about to tell the faithful American citizenry what's what in his annual State of the Corporation address.  For those wondering, profits are up, human resource expenses are down, and the debt is well hidden from the stockholders.

We here at Central White House Command know how hard it has been for all of you to wait patiently for the Blessing of Bush tonight.

Well, we've got what you need, just over that there flip...

So His Great Protectorship has magnanimously given you leadership-famished serfs a few tasty morsels to chew on until 'round 'bout nine of the clock, liberal standard time (goddamn heathen coasts!).  That's when he's gonna unload the tactical leadership nuke on the undeserving masses.  And for all you freedom-hating, homosexual agenda serving, drug dealing, pinko fairy ass, liberal jew ****s who thought they could just go around telling the world that the Chief in Charge was some sort of Oswaldian patsy to Big Benevolent Oil - {inhaling} - Captain Cowboy W. Commando is gonna put you unworthy peons into a full on leadership nelson when he tells the world...  hold on...  wait for it...

...

THE UNITED STATES IS ADDICTED TO OIL!!!

And the entire world said?

Well no ****ing shit.  Moron.

The entire world has hereby been removed to an undisclosed location for enhanced interrogation methods.  Goddamned player haters.  

What you sorry blockheads don't understand is that President Lonestar is a man of visioning.  Not only has he figured out the problem with you people, he has demonstrated his all-flowing wisdom and generosity by providing you small-minded simpletons with ... the answer!

"America is addicted to oil, which is often imported from unstable parts of the world," Bush said in the excerpts. "The best way to break this addiction is through technology."


That's right, you eco-wacko tree terrorists.  There is no need for your quaint personal virtue of conservation, and especially not some commie-loving limits on our Gluttonous Domestic Consumption.  No sirree bob.  

I'm sorry...  did you say something?

What was that?  You'll have to speak up...

Take responsibility for our impact on the world?  

{chuckling parentally}Oh, I see you're new in town...  ahem..  can we get some agents in here please?  We've got another one.

While we wait for our friend's new ride to Gitmo, I'll follow the Supreme Righteous Example of His High Righteous Supremeness, and answer the soon to be forgotten libbie.  Like the 'so-called deficit', our impact on the world is not a factor. Nope, not while we've got the best engineeringers in the planethood working on it. That's right, folks.  Those Godless Darwinese Scientificators are going to come to our rescue with unlimited, free energy any day now, and your silly little notions of ecological balance will be irrelevent when your property gets eminently dominated in the name of a new golf community.  Because the Heathen Expiramentologists will surely work their esoteric designs and find us unlimited water while they're at it.  

{security comes}

Thank you, loyal Americanites.  Take him to Waterboardistan.

So, in summation, it is truly Anti Myrmidian in the Yew Ess of Aye, and we'll put a boot in your ass.

It is only our way, after all.


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To the Godless Liberals - A Message From The President | 4 comments (4 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
Sorry for the absence (4.33 / 3)
Sorry for the sudden disappearence over the past month or so, but life got a little in the way of my blogging time.  Won't happen again, I swear.

If you don't understand someone, consider that the shortcoming may not lie with that person, but rather with your own understanding.

by Aethern on 01/31/2006 07:28:57 PM EST

To the person who gave me a 3 (none / 0)
It's not that I'm really concerned about what kind of comment ratings I get, it's just that it would seem that you may have had a criticism, and I would much rather know what you think than not.  I may not agree with your criticism, but it just might be something I hadn't considered.  Or if you just think the whole thing just wasn't all that great, that's cool as well.

If you don't understand someone, consider that the shortcoming may not lie with that person, but rather with your own understanding.

by Aethern on 02/01/2006 07:02:09 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Glad to have you back Aethern! (none / 0)
Keep up the great work.

And here is a 5 for you;)

by Embolden on 02/02/2006 08:22:03 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Also glad to have you back, friend. (none / 0)
keep spreading the word!

Political Cortex -- Brain Food for the Body Politic

by Tom Ball on 02/02/2006 08:29:52 PM EST

[ Parent ]
To the Godless Liberals - A Message From The President | 4 comments (4 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)
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