Singing the praises of the "Bush Doctrine" 
In his revised version, Bush offers no second thoughts about the preemption policy, saying it "remains the same" and defending it as necessary for a country in the "early years of a long struggle" akin to the Cold War. Some security specialists criticized the continued commitment to preemption. "To have a strategy on preemption and make it central is a huge error," said Harlan Ullman, a senior adviser at the Center for Strategic and International Studies.
Bush has decided to set the example and go on the offensive himself. He is bringing his particular brand of "Shock and Awe" to towns and hamlets across the nation, roadtesting his presentation so he can hone his message for prime time. Here's a report from the field....
George Bush enters dressed like Don Quixote, with Dick Cheney dressed like Sancho Panza. The Marine Corps Band is playing "Hail to the Chief" but as he strides to the podium everyone falls silent. Cheney pulls out a Karaoke Machine, puts it on the floor next to the podium and pushes the "play" button. Bush serenades the crowd to his version of "The Impossible Dream," the classic signature song from the Broadway musical, "Man of La Mancha" :
To claim the God-given right
Here's my Crusade --
And I know
Who's surprised the world's more dangerous
To dream the impossible dream,
to create a permanent foe,
to ignite a new type of conflict,
to rush in where Dad would not go.
to wage war and lay waste from afar,
to use arms for a cockeyed new theory
to wage global pre-emptive war!
It's pre-emptive war
no matter how pointless,
no matter how flawed --
To claim I've the right
without question or pause,
to carelessly send kids to die
for the neo-con cause!
if I remain true
to this fanciful quest
that my heart
will be peaceful and calm
when they're laid to their rest.
since good council I chose to ignore?
Deciding to unleash this madness?
To wage global pre-emptive war!
The pre-screened crowd explodes into wild applause. Bush bows and heads for the wings. The official Townhall Cheerleader is momentarily caught off guard and shouts out, "Mr. President, what about the rest of the townhall meeting?" As Bush disappears off stage you can hear him screaming "It's hard work. Everyone knows it's hard work. It's incredibly hard work. I need a drink!"
The crowd roars its approval and starts chanting "Four More Wars! Four More Wars!" as the band plays on.... and bombs rain down on Iraq.
FADE OUT
"There is some background noise here, a lot of chatter, a lot of speculation and opining."
- President Bush, Oct. 20, 2005
KEYWORDS: bush, impeach, satire, iraq, don quixote, preemptive, bush doctrine, war crimes
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