Political Cortex: Brain Food for the Body Politic

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich was the easy winner of a straw poll Friday night that tested 2008 presidential candidate support at the Minnesota Republican Party state convention.

Gingrich got about 40 percent of the 540 votes cast, putting him far ahead of Virginia's Sen. George Allen, who got about 15 percent. Next were Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Arizona Sen. John McCain, each with about 10 percent.

And, for what it's worth, wingnut lame-oh Patty Ruffini threw a little unscientific, straw poll party of his own, and of the 18,116 votes made, here were the results:

Giuliani  5300 (29.3%)
Allen  3543 (19.6%)
Gingrich  2490 (13.7%)
Romney  1605 (8.9%)
McCain  1516 (8.4%)
Tancredo  1293 (7.1%)
Undecided  737 (4.1%)
Brownback  529 (2.9%)
Frist  405 (2.2%)
Huckabee  350 (1.9%)
Hagel  248 (1.4%)
Pataki  100 (0.6%)

A pretty strong performance for the cheatmeister.

No matter the weight you allocate to these dubious polls, Newt is a legitimate contender for the 2008 GOP candidacy. And he won't tell you otherwise.

Back in April of 2005, World Nut Daily reported:

Gingrich, ..., is spending [time] in New Hampshire, before heading next month to Iowa, two states at the vanguard of presidential campaigning with their early primaries.

In fact, he mentioned both in a comment last week, stating, "If I want to be effective at defining the idea framework for 2008, there's nothing I can do that's more effective than go to New Hampshire and Iowa. That's the place to get your attention."

But when asked about a White House run, Gingrich replied, "That's a conversation we ought to have in the summer of 2007. The minute I talk about candidacy ... everyone is going to get into horserace baloney. From now until 2007 we ought not to focus on personal ambition."

[...]

When asked... by the Nashua Telegraph about a White House run in three years, Gingrich did not rule it out.

[...]

Gingrich is looking to expand the Contract with America by stopping the slide toward secularism by the courts and government schools, and put the Creator back as the source of all liberties.

See, Gingrich wants to institute the 'Creator' as he crowns himself the 'Destroyer' -- just for balance I imagine.

Either way, these are all equally 'worthy' GOP Candidates, but the thing that separates Newty from the others is his staunch advocacy of promoting Middle East violence and the idea of World War III as a stump speech for GOP Victory.

I shit you not. While McCain was busy doing sissy stuff like defending John Kerry from the Swiftboat assholes, Romney was taken up with universal healthcare, and Giuliani was busy pressing for Gay rights, Newt was hard at work preaching Rapture to the dark minions of the far right.

And the freaky Fundies are eating it up. Seems Gingrich's fanatic fundamentalism commingled with his flippant desire for mass global death is a winning combination.

So why not go all the way!

Why, just the other day Newt berated Americans because we were apparently unaware that we had begun World War III. Don't tell me you didn't know this. It's soooooo obvious.

But that isn't the worst of it. Heck, by now we'd expect no less wingcrackery from his higheness,  the Dark Lord.

The real kicker is that Goosedick thinks the whole WWIII thingy is the KEY to Republican victory in the coming elections.

Seems this piddly 'War on Terra' just ain't cutting it anymore. If Neonuts want to get their own elected, they need BIBLICAL STRENGTH fear-mongoring (i.e. Duby Dubya Three!!)

...Gingrich says America is in World War III and President Bush should say so... He talks about the need to recognize World War III as important for military strategy and POLITICAL STRATEGY.

Gingrich said he is "very worried" about Republicans facing fall elections and says the party must have the "nerve" to nationalize the elections and make the 2006 campaigns about a liberal Democratic agenda rather than about President Bush's record.

[Tom's Note: Notice the incalculable strength of confidence Newt shows in 'Bush's record')

Gingrich said in the coming days he plans to speak out publicly, and to the administration, about the need to recognize that America is in World War III.

He lists wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, this week's bomb attacks in India, North Korean nuclear threats, terrorist arrests and investigations in Florida, Canada and Britain, and violence in Israel and Lebanon as evidence of World War III. He said Bush needs to deliver a speech to Congress and "connect all the dots" for Americans.

He said the reluctance to put those pieces together and see one global conflict is hurting America's interests. He said people, including some in the Bush Administration, who urge a restrained response from Israel are wrong "because they haven't crossed the bridge of realizing this is a war."

"This is World War III," Gingrich said. And once that's accepted, he said calls for restraint would fall away"

Smoking CRACK! It's the only explanation. Or perhaps he's been sucking on lead. As God is my witness, Gingrich has totally lost his evil little mind.

Clearly this Beelzabuddy is gasping... gasping... gasping... for political air -- smothered by the probability of a vast American anti-Republican Revolution in 2006 and beyond.

His pathetic desperation is deafening, "FEAR! HEAR ME NOW! WWIII! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! VOTE REPUBLICAN IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" -- the primal screams of a mad, MAD, itty-bitty, infinitesimally small man.

He's even found the need to concoct World War III. Now, clearly WWIII is NOT taking place. And clearly anyone who thinks it is has either:

a) an agenda that supports neoconservative extremist loonquackery

b) been smoking the same quality crack associated with Newt Gingrich

c) been living in a cave for the past six thousand years

d) all of the above

...I mean this crap makes the flatworlders look like Nobel logicians.

3rd Grade history class tells us that the conflicts between North Korea/Japan, India/Pakistan, Israel/rest-of-the-MiddleEa st and a slew of other hot spots Gingrich didn't even bother to mention, have been ongoing for decades, centuries, or mellenia depending on the conflict.

So, to sum it up, I defer to Washington State Democratic Party Spokesperson, Kelly Steele:

This is classic -- that Gingrich's solution to Bush's failed leadership is a different "marketing strategy" shows the true extent to which Republicans cannot be trusted to win the war on terror. Democrats believe we need a "tough and smart" strategy that makes 2006 a year of transition in Iraq and aggressively takes the fight to the terrorists, while Gingrich and Bush seek to elect a new crop of loyal rubberstamps -- McGavick, Reichert, and Roulstone included -- to blindly support and extend their monopoly on their "tough and dumb" conduct of the war in Iraq and the larger battle against global terrorism.

Yeah Baby! Kelly Steele ROCKS!!!