Charismatic Leader Slim Jong Il Missing 
US satellite reconnaissance image of North Korean "Dung Ho" missile test leaked to the press by anonymous Pentagon source CLICK TO ENLARGE
Seoul, South Korea (APE) - After a day of missile testing which saw a total of anywhere from seven to ten launches, depending upon accounts, Pyongyang has become suddenly silent amidst rumors that it's charismatic leader "Slim" Jong Il has gone missing. Formerly known as Kim Jong Il, he had recently given himself a state sanctioned name change to "Slim" after reportedly dieting and losing over 30 pounds through force of will alone. Rumors soared throughout Asia that Slim had surreptitiously boarded the last missile fired yesterday, the vaunted "Dung Ho" missile which is reportedly capable of reaching the continental United States. North Korean officials refused to comment on the allegations.
Unconfirmed eyewitness reports smuggled out from Pyongyang suggest that the dictator for life may have been attempting a defection to the United States. He reportedly addressed each flight engineer and technician by name, thanking them and smiling as he clambered aboard the Dung Ho. North Korean authorities vehemently denied the stories, stating that Slim would likely issue a statement regarding plans for future missile tests later in the day.
Bush Administration officials refused to comment or speculate until further information became available. In another possibly related development, the US State Department acknowledged that former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright has apparently inexplicably disappeared overnight
KEYWORDS: North Korea, missile launch, Kim Jong Il, Satire
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