Political Cortex: Brain Food for the Body Politic

Why visit boring places like Russia, Germany, the United Kingdom, or Kuwait when for the price of a round trip ticket to the U.S. alone, you can have a round-the-world trek of a lifetime? In fact, if you have the right name and look a certain way - it could be the last adventure you'll ever have! And, if you have any doubt about whether looks and name alone will get you into the upgrade program, make sure you just buy a one-way ticket (you'll probably never use the return anyway).

Imagine how excited you'll be when you land at John F. Kennedy or San Francisco International Airport and after answering a few simple questions from the customs agent discover that you've been selected for special deluxe accommodations........

BAM! Oh baby - what good drugs...... Gee, I feel so relaxed...... the lights are going out......

Then..........

You discover you've been given a free hood to cover your head (to protect your privacy so the Paparazzi won't blind you with their flashbulbs) and some of the hottest bling-bling to wear around your wrists and ankles.  

You'll be the envy of everyone who sees you as they escort you to your own PRIVATE plane! (You can't see any of them because of that wonderful free hood.... and..... strangely enough it feels like the rest of your body is exposed...... Ah, but unlike the flight to the United States where you were cramped into a small seat in coach, you get to stretch out completely on this flight.... except for the strange way your hands are shackled to your ankles.... you'll get used to that position though.)

You'll have quite a few hours as you head to your secret but exciting destination. And you thought might get a bit bored seeing the Great White Way or the streets of San Francisco, but could you ever have imagined the places you'll go and the people you'll meet when Jeppesen Travel (a subsidiary of Boeing) takes over your tour?

Why waste your time trying to scare yourself at Ripley's Believe It or Not or the Wax Museum of horrors when you can visit the real gulags of old Eastern Europe or check out the actual working torture chambers in places like Syria, and enjoy the sexual ecstasy of watching your spouse, parents or children seemingly raped or executed right before your very eyes.

You'll be so completely enthralled with your adventure vacation that you'll forget about home, work, family....... you might as well since you may never see them again.......

Yes - The United States can once again be your vacation destination..... or.... um......... transfer point for the vacation of a lifetime....... or..........um.........

Given that at least 62 people have died during their deluxe tours of jail cells in Virginia, and a whole bunch of other folks have simply disappeared......... and a few are suing the United States for kidnapping and torturing them..........

Maybe Calgary or Singapore would be more fun...... Nah! If you go there, you'll just end up having a plain old and boring vacation which will end a week or so after it starts. If you come to America, you never know where you'll end up.

America - Your Vacation Wonderland! (You'll wonder if you'll ever get out alive.)

This advertisement paid for through a $10 fee charged to each person who enters the United States. (We don't have exit fees because you may never "officially" leave.)